


Heaven's Bar

by KurokoNoBasukeTrash



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: (for the most part), Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Canon Compliant, Colonist (Mass Effect), F/M, I'm not good at writing them yet, No character hate, Paragade (Mass Effect), Post-Canon, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Wish Fulfillment, been a while since I played the game, characters might be OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 12:05:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18010595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurokoNoBasukeTrash/pseuds/KurokoNoBasukeTrash
Summary: It was odd. She wasn't sure how she had come across this quiet little bar. It was unlike any other she had seen before, though she mused it must have been on the Citadel. Where else would her odd little family all convene? One of them seemed to pass through the bar each day. If only they stayed to chat a little bit longer.Something kept her from leaving. When she tries to recall exactly what, the answer is a hazy image and a rough voice. Still, she waits. Waits to fulfill the promise she couldn't recall making.





	1. Family

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to preface this and say that each chapter will be short (possibly ridiculously so), but updated quickly. I thought about condensing all of it, and still might, but for the time being I prefer the setup to be short, quick little drabbles. This is mostly me wanting a sort of bittersweet ending outside of what was given to us in Mass Effect 3.
> 
> I don't refer to Shepard by her first name much, but when I do it's as Jane. I made this decision based on my own reading experience with FemShep works. While it's not my Shepard's name, it doesn't jarr me as much as an entirely different name does. I hope it still resonates well with the audience even with the mention of her first name.
> 
> Rated mature for: Vague Impressionistic Descriptions of Intercourse

Anderson was the first.  
  
He was there before Shepard herself, actually. He wore that fond, fatherly smile on his face that forever loosed a warmth into her heart. He was vivid compared to the bright, hazy corners of the bar as he stood and spread his arms.  
  
She did not hesitate.  
  
He enveloped her in his arms and suddenly, she couldn't help but cry. Tears of felicity, of grief; of desire, of deprivation. She wasn't sure why those emotions swelled up inside at the thought, the sight of him, but she let them all out. His hand stroked the small of her back in circular motion until her tears faded and she needed to be a grown woman again. He wiped her tears with his thumb and steadied her at arm length for a moment, gazing at the woman in front of him.  
  
“Look at how you've grown.”  
  
She peered down at herself and noted her armor. Scrapes, indentations, and blood littered the surface of her once-smooth armor. She did not understand what he meant, but for the look in his eyes he must have seen something different. His voice drew her gaze back up to his warm, glowing face.  
  
“I remember when you were plucked off Mindoir. I looked at you and saw a scared, resentful child. I saw the rancor carry into your assault on Torfan, your handling of Balak, your interaction with the council. But look at you now.”  
  
What was she now? She recalled what he mentioned of course, but felt as if something was missing. As if she had lost an important piece to the puzzle along the way.  
  
“I look like hell, Anderson.”  
  
“You look like a woman whose name will be spoken for centuries.”  
  
“I don't understand."  
  
“You will, soon.” He glanced down at his wrist, though no watch hung from it. He released her, stepping back to a door opposite the one she entered. “I have a lot to do. I've spent enough time here already, waiting for you.” He paused, before offering her his hand. “Will you come?”  
  
She wanted to. She wanted to take his hand and leave to wherever that door did go, with the man that had become so important to her. She wanted to – but something held her back. She didn't need to exit the bar yet. She hadn't even accepted a drink. His smile remained, though soured.  
  
“I understand. I'll leave a spot in my schedule for you when you're ready.”  
  
“Thank you, Anderson.” He turned to leave, stopping in front of the door. It remained shut tightly, and he glanced back at her. “One more thing.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“You're the best daughter I could've asked for. I'm so proud of you, Jane.”  
  
And he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in the process of editing each chapter. This chapter has been edited, but could be better with a beta! If you're interested, contact me via 1973ccmurray@gmail.com!


	2. Forgiveness

EDI was the second.

Shepard would be the first to admit that she was surprised. Somehow this bar (or any really) didn’t seem the her style; she wouldn’t have come here without Joker, certainly. Regardless, the chair beside Shepard was now occupied by the robotic body of the AI she had formed such a close bond with. Silence spanned between the two of them as Shepard sipped at her unknown drink. EDI looked over, something odd shining in those robotic eyes of hers.

“I’ve always wondered what it was like to drink.” She said simply, holding her hand out. The glass was handed over to her quietly.

“Don’t think you can, EDI.”

“I can now.”

“New upgrade, huh?”

“You could call it that.”

“Why not test it out with Joker instead? I think he’d enjoy seeing you drunk, if that’s even possible.”

“You’re the one that invited me here, Shepard.”

Something in her tone was off. She took a sip of her drink, index finger tapping against the side of the glass. The weight of EDI’s free hand suddenly lay on Shepard’s shoulder in an almost comforting fashion. It was an odd gesture, uncharacteristic of the AI. A perplexed glance did not prompt an answer to the unspoken question. Quietly, the two of them sat there. EDI seemed almost to be pondering something.

“Shepard, I have decided.”

“Lay it on me, EDI. What big decision have you made?”

“I’ve searched every corner of my database for an answer. I found none. Our situation is very unique.”

“I do live a dangerous life.”

“Yes, you do, Shepard. One dangerous to more than just yourself." It wasn't something she could deny. "I found that I could not rely on my data to make this decision for me. I needed to analyze this with my memories and…my feelings.”

It was quiet again. Feelings? Exploration had always been something Shepard encouraged with EDI, especially in her own mind. A sense of déjà vu flooded her, yet she couldn’t place just why this was. Nevertheless, EDI’s first admittance to feelings was something to celebrate. She ordered another drink for herself, taking a big swig as it arrived in a timely manner.

“Feelings? Hell, you’ve come a long way.”

“I have. I would not be here without you.”

“Well, what did your feelings decide then?”

She stood as the doors to the bar opened, and Joker limped in. His face brightened once he saw EDI, as if his entire world had opened up to something new. She leaned in, her chin hovering above Shepard’s left shoulder. Her bit said, she turned and walked to Joker. Arm in arm, they left out the door on the other side of the bar. Shepard was left with her drink in hand, and empty glass beside her, and EDI’s words echoing in her head.

“They have decided to forgive you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Inspiration


	3. Inspiration

Kaidan came third.

It took him a while, too. By then Shepard had investigated every corner of the bar. It still did not become any less hazy, nor did the opposite door open. He was a welcome sight to her bored, tired eyes, and he seemed to share the sentiment. A grin broke over his face, and she learned he did not come alone.

Tali came with him.

She was almost as Shepard remembered her. A pose that somehow spoke of a regal sass, her head held high and a sense of pride. There was something different. The uncertainty once carried across the Quarians shoulders as a weighted cloak must have finally been shed. Her head swiveled as she absorbed the bar, and a somewhat mechanical “Ah,” sounded from her helmet. She pulled her helmet off and breathed the air deep into her lungs.

“It is nice to finally breathe.”

She commented, and sat on the opposite side Kaidan had. They ordered their drinks and turned to each other.

“It’s so good to see you. I must’ve been waiting here ages.”

“Shepard. It’s good to see you again.” It was Kaidan speaking now, the remnants of his grin lingering on his lips.

“You as well. How have you been?”

“Amazing. Spent a while trying to live up to your legacy, really. Realized a bit ago that I could make my own. I think I made a difference.” As he spoke, she realized that he had gained a confidence of his own. Gone was the image of a faithful, loyal follower. She had no doubt he would heed her command, respect still glimmered in his eyes as he gazed at her, but he felt more…free. Like he might be the one to rally up a group of miscellaneous mercenaries and friends to fight against a greater evil.

“Won’t say I’m not surprised to see you still sticking around. Or to see Tali here so soon. I was kinda hoping I’d be the only one here.” Tali nodded, as if she shared the sentiment.

“We’re the victims of timing. What happened, Kaidan?” Tali questioned, her head quirked to the side.

“Wrong turn on Elysium. You?”

“I was tired. Building up civilization from the ruins of the past is…difficult. I wanted a quiet place to drink, and it found me.” Shepard listened along idly as the two chatted about their days. It was peaceful to hear them joke with each other. The two of them had never struck her as close, but they must have spent some time together since she entered the bar.

“Shepard, I want to thank you.” That was Tali again.

“What for?”

“For teaching me. I would not be who I was without you. I would not be able to lead my people with confidence f I had not borrowed some of your own. I grew because of you. I wish I could say more, but my time is running short.”

“What do you mean?”

“Shepard.” Now it was Kaidan. She was tiring of turning her head back and forth, now.

“I need to thank you too. You were a great role model. You didn’t really make the best decisions sometimes, and I know you had a lot of regrets. I never could imagine how it felt to have that much weight on your shoulders. I still can’t. But you held it proudly, and led us far with it.”

“Kaidan, I…” She didn’t know what to say. She was accustomed to praise, but it was a different story coming from someone as close to her as him. Her hand reached out towards him of its own accord, and her world exploded with color.

_They were standing in the bay of the Normandy, together. Talking, laughing, losing the world around them to eachother. Something gray blurred at the corners of her vision, but she did not care for it. Her focus was the man in front of her, the glint of attraction…of love in his eyes. God, she had fallen quickly. Even still, their time together was short. She knew there was something coming that would tear them apart. She needed to treasure what she had now._

_He was above her, his hand running down her cheek. Her back arched and pressed their bodies together, bursts of blue sparking off their bodies. His breath fanned across her neck and she could not help but cry out a symphony of her approval. Now he was below her, connected at her own pace. His name fell from her lips as hers did from his. His fingers ghosted along her waist. She looked for the blue in his eyes and saw brown._

_He pointed a gun to her head with a wavering grip. She could not help but to feel the pangs of betrayal strike deep. Could he not trust her? After what they had shared? How much they had cared for each other? He lowered the gun, and disappeared. Someone gently slapped the middle of her back, a comforting gesture. She lifted her chin, and moved on._

Kaidan was still looking at her with that look in his eyes. Admiration, but not the same as it had once been. Love, but that of a family. The desire had left his gaze, long ago she thought by the look of it. Tali wasn’t sitting any longer.

“I think I’ll head out. Are you coming, Kaidan?” Something passed between them in a quick glance. An unspoken phrase, a quiet conversation.

“I’ll stay back with the commander for a bit. Seems like it could get lonely here.”

“Do not take too long. There are many I want to introduce you to.”

Shepard was starting to dislike that door. It was irrational, but everyone seemed to leave through it. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t yet, but the impression of a three-fingered hand pressed into her back seemed to push deeper.

“You and Tali are close.”

“We’ve gotten to know each other a bit better. It took a bit to rebuild.”

“I’m happy for you, Kaidan.”

“Thanks, Shepard. I mean it. It took a while to get over you, y’know. It hurt a lot when you moved on so quickly. Least that’s what I thought it was then. Realized a bit too late that was how you dealt with it. You were hurting too.”

“I know what you’re saying is true…but Kaidan, for the life of me I can’t remember.”

“It’s alright. I expected it. Just remember; you’ll see him again. It might not be soon, not even be in years, but he’ll be here for you.”

“Who, Kaidan?”

“You know.”

She didn’t tell him that she didn’t. She spent the time to laugh, reminisce, and maybe regret just a bit as time dragged on. He stood, and before he could go she caught his sleeve. It had taken her a bit, but she finally knew how to respond to his praise who knew how long ago it was now.

“What is it?”

“You inspired me too.”

The warm look flooding into his eyes was worth every hardship, every challenge she had faced. He stepped back through the door, not before he could respond.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Gratitude


	4. Gratitude

 Jack was the forth.

Or fifth, sixth in technicality. Really it was when they came and not how many at a time Shepard counted. To see Jack was to relieve her of the loneliness set in after Kaidan’s departure. The ache seemed to grow deeper each time someone left. Anderson had been bittersweet, but she was sure to see him again. EDI came in right after, so she had little time to ponder. Then the gap between her and Kaidan and Tali had hurt, but nothing like the empty space where there should’ve been people. She had to wonder why no one else frequented this bar.

“Woo! Now this is something new. Gimmie the hardest liquor you got.” Jack was handed the same drink everyone received in this devoid bar. Her hair was similar to how she had last seen it, though on closer inspection a few strands had been dyed a deep blue. It was longer as well, something she was happy to see.

“This tastes like shit – and you look like it. The hell have you been, Shepard?” Her armor was still worn and bloodied of course. There was nothing to change into in this small bar.

“Could say the same to you. Never pictured you growing your hair out.”

“I was planning on cutting it. Didn’t have the time. You think I can’t rock long hair?”

“Believe me, you’re rocking it.” Her words were met with an icy grin, and a swig of a drink. “It’s been too quiet here. I’m not used to it.”

“Should be by now. You’ve been here a long time.”

“How long?”

“Remember my kids in Grissom? They’re grown, Shepard. Grown and I’m damn proud of them.” The glass slammed down onto the bar with a force that, by right, should’ve shattered it. Not even a crack marred its crystalline surface. Jack observed it with a disappointed irk to her eye. “They’re becoming real good kids.”

“And you taught them the most important thing.”

“Oh you’re gonna drop some big, sappy thing about inner strength and helping others, aren’t you?”

“Nah. You taught them how to say fuck.” Jack tilted her head back and laughed, a rare sound that rose Shepard’s own laugh to join.

“I taught them how to say fuck.”

There wasn’t much in the way of silence when Jack was there. The drinks they shared were loud, boisterous, and considerably more interesting when she got Shepard dancing. She never could seem to get drunk in this place but she could damn well pretend she was. When they finally settled, Jack was headed out towards the door.

“Jack, wait-“

“Sorry, Shepard. It was fun, but I’m not one to hold myself back.” As much as she knew it was true, she didn’t want Jack to leave. She was tired of sitting at this nondescript counter with drinks she couldn’t even get buzzed off of, doors that wouldn’t open. “Aw, don’t give me that look. Never thought I’d see the great commander look like a kicked varren.” She shook her head. “Listen Shepard, you’ve done a lot. But me? I can’t spend the rest of my time here. I heard there’s a rocking party I’m late to.”

“And I wasn’t invited? That hurts, Jack.”

“Then get your ass up and join me.”

For some reason, she couldn’t.

“See, Shepard? It’s not me leaving you. When you’re ready, find me. I hear the bars past here have _real_ drinks.” Jack’s grin was back, and with it a graceful flip of the bird. She backed out of the doorway and was gone. Shepard couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, the proud middle finger spoke miles.

Jack had her own special way of saying thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Future


	5. Future

Wrex wasn’t the fifth – or seventh, so be your preference.

He stormed the bar with a growl on his face and looking near as frazzled as she. He slammed his fist down onto the bar and demanded as much ryncol as the place stocked. He was given the same drink as everyone else.

“How have you dealt with this for so long?” He grumbled, shoving the drink away. She sipped her own calmly.

“You get used to it. There aren’t any other places around.” He cursed, glaring at the space behind the bar.

“So, what brings Wrex here? The conqueror of Krogan woman everywhere?”

“Shepard…”

“Or maybe it’s the other way around, with the state I found you in.”

“You’re never letting me live that down.”

“Never.” He snorted, and there almost seemed to be a gleam of amusement in his eyes. She raised a brow, before realization dawned on her. “You have something on me now.”

“They built a statue of you in the Hub. It’s _hideous_.”

“They didn’t.”

“Oh, they did. They wanted it to be special – see, they carved it by hand.”

“Oh _no_.”

“Let’s just say the artist has a unique style.” He laughed heartily at her expression. He leaned forward, his grin there to stay. “Oh, that’s not the end of it. They’ve improved those Shepard VI’s too…”

The next hour was filled with all the embarrassing (and some downright disrespectful) products to come from Shepard’s legacy. A few they shared a laugh over, but most were met with downright disgust (“Fornax did _what_?” “It’s life-sized.” “What the _fuck_?”) When they finally settled down on how many different settings Shepard’s automated ‘personal companion’ had, they moved on to other subjects. Everything ranging from galactic politics to the new food opened at Grunt’s favorite noodle place.

Grunt.

“Don’t suppose Grunt will come visit soon?”

“Trust me, you don’t want him to.” Her expression told him she did. She really did. He shook his head, and dropped his hand on her shoulder.

_They were facing off on Virmire. Doubt flooded her mind – would she have the ability to tell him off? Could she stand to kill him if she had to? They had spoken only in brief intervals, but she liked the Krogan. He was strong, knew where his heart was, and surprisingly conversational. The worst part? She didn’t entirely disagree with him. The genophage had essentially been a culling of his species. They deserved to live freely._

_Just not like this._

_So she told him. Told him she’d do everything she could to find a cure that didn’t turn his species into mindless drones. He was furious, irrational, and looked about ready to kill her – but he listened. He listened and they won._

_She wasn’t looking at Wrex anymore. She was looking at the outside of a tank in the cargo bay of her ship. Voices sounded above, uncertain and concerned. She opened the tank, and was pinned to the wall. His eyes burned with an unnatural rage. She did not waver. He let her down and she rubbed her neck, gazing at the back of her newest crew member._

_She was reunited with Wrex, adrenaline rushing through her system at the sight of him. She was not here to see him, but fate led her well. She remembered this as the first time she leaned back and knocked her head into the hard crest of a Krogan. There was a new respect in their eyes for her after. She remembered having to leave, looking at Wrex with the unspoken words._

_‘I will not break my promise.’_

_Then came the day she proved herself an honest woman. The mist spread over Tuchanka, seeping into each Krogan through their thick skin. Wrex looked at her with nothing less than joy, and finally Shepard felt like her decision had been right. Mordin’s death still tugged at her heart, aching long after she left the planet. The thought of Wrex’s future children chased away in the day the ‘Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.’s that echoed in her dreams at night._

“He’s living a good life. My kids call him their cousin.”

“Your – _Wrex._ You waited this long to tell me you had children?”

“Thought this was the best time to drop the bomb!” That shit-eating grin just told her he wanted to catch her off guard. To his credit, it worked.

“Spill it, Wrex. What are their names? How old are they? Did they inherit your ugly mug? God, I hope not.”

“Ugly? I’ll have you know every female on Tuchanka thinks I’m the most handsome Krogan to live.”

“Aside from Eve.”

“And that’s why she’s the mother of my children.”

“The firstborn named Mordin?”

“And the second named Shepard.” Silence met his words at first. Seeing the look on her face, he shook his head irritably. “Don’t laugh. You had as much a part. Mordin was her input, Shepard was mine. My son will live up to the name, unlike all the humans naming their weak, whiny babies ‘Commander Shepard Captain of the Normandy George.’”

“Wrex has a soft spot.”

“ _Shepard._ ” She laughed, unable to help it. She set her empty cup down on the bar.

“…Someone didn’t _really_ name their child ‘Commander Shepard Captain of the Normandy George,’ did they?”

“You have no _idea_.”

Wrex didn’t leave after the first hour, day, even week. At least not based on her internal clock. It was hard to tell the passage of time here. She was almost relieved that he seemed so keen to stay. Eventually he took begrudging gulps of alcohol-devoid drinks and they played games in stacking taller glasses atop each other, then throwing shot glasses to knock them over. Eventually, curiosity outweighed Shepards lingering fear he might leave if she brought it up.

“Hey Wrex?”

“Yeah, Shepard?” He was stacking the cups up higher than they usually did, the most recent test being how many glasses they would be given before there would be no more.

“Why haven’t you left yet?”

“If you’re trying to get rid of me, it won’t work. I’m not here for you.”

“Charming.”

“You’re not here for me. Way I see it, we’re both waiting. It’d be boring sitting in this dull room alone.”

Wrex wasn’t the fifth or seventh. Shepard only counted them when they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Closure


	6. Closure

Garrus was the last.

When he walked through the door it was as if a swarm of warmth followed. Suddenly her armor was replaced with her navy blues, the blood dissipated as well as a dull aching she had never realized dogged the ever-present wounds. Blue, gray, the two colors had never looked as beautiful to her as they did in that moment. Neons, blacks, and browns seeped into the whiteness of the bar until it popped. There were drinks of every color, shape, and size. The bartender was a dangerously handsome Turian who sent a wink her way, but she only had eyes for the one standing in the door with that terrifying, Turian grin on his face.

She had hardly even a moment with her arms around him before the memories flooded in.

_She was seeing him for the first time. Tall, alien, and terrifying as any Turian was. He was arguing with someone about the very thing she was there to see the council about – Saren. He turned to her, frustration burning in those blue eyes of his. The image of them followed her into the council chambers, and entered her own when she stated her case. She liked to think it was that moment it all started._

_He talked to her. About his family, Turian society, and his thoughts on their mission to hunt down Saren. He was on every ground team she sent down and performed his duty with skill she could not find anywhere else. They bantered about who was a better shot, laughed together as their friendship grew._

_-“James told me there’s an old saying here on Earth—may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”-_

_Stood together and watched as Saren shot himself in the head._

_He was one of the last thoughts she had before she died. It went from Kaidan, to the Normandy, her mission, the council,_ Garrus _. His face was the one that hovered behind her eyelids when they slid shut and she thought no more._

_-“Not sure if Turian heaven is the same as yours, but, if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there—meet me at the bar.”-_

_When she saw him again she wanted to lunge forward and hug him. It wasn’t the time or place so she didn’t, but god did she want to. By the time they fought their way out of the hairy situation, the fleeting urge had passed and she settled for the reunion of two close friends. He was there at her back in everything she did, and he was the one to hold her when her love for Kaidan came crashing down._

_-“I’m buying.”-_

_His talons trailed across the skin of her stomach and she didn’t flinch. She trusted him, and he rewarded that trust with his forehead pressed to hers and his ‘hips’ flush to her own. She lost herself in the blue of his eyes as he lost himself in the blue of her biotics. Her nails scraped against the hard plating to find the soft indentations of skin beneath that dragged desperate groans from deep inside his throat. With each touch they explored and learned a new place on the other. Together they indulged in the thought that, if this were to last forever, they would never chance to lose each other._

_-“We’re a team, Garrus.”-_

_He was leading the secondary team and Shepard couldn’t keep her mind off of him. She was focused in her distraction, ducking and firing another round into the horrid ‘human’ reaper before her. She couldn’t bear to lose him, as selfish as it was. She grit her teeth and fired a final round into it. Everything around her fell._

_-“There’s no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck.”-_

_His talons grasped at her forearm alongside Joker to drag her into the ship, her injured leg screaming at her the entire time. He lifted her into his arms and she buried her face into the soft, unplated section of his neck. The rumbling purr in response sparked a realization._

_-“Sorry, Turians don’t know how.”-_

_He wasn’t just a fling to ‘let off steam.’ He respected her, she respected him. They trusted each other. The answer had been beating her in the face but she had been too blind to realize. Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy, fell in love with her sharpshooter._

_-“But I’ll improvise.”-_

_She didn’t see him for so long after. To be fair, she was lucky enough that they didn’t imprison her for her actions. Though not unsung, her heroics were far underrated by this point. They didn’t even know what was coming until it burst through their front door._

_-“And Shepard, forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you—come back alive.”-_

_There was so much to do to cement the alliance with the Tuians. Palaven was a sight worse to see than Earth now – everything was on fire. Turians were strong, but there was only so much to do against an enemy so large, so powerful so to have dismantled the races of before. She didn’t have time to think about Garrus and what they had, but when he appeared before her with that smile on her face she knew it wasn’t over. In all this, she hadn’t lost him._

_-“It’ll be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”-_

_Waking up next to him in the apartment that was now hers was a dream come true. Her fingers ghosted across his mandibles as he slowly woke. She pressed her forehead against his, and he responded with the best ‘human’ kiss he could manage. They laughed at each other for a bit before leaving the bed. The was called, and it would not wait for them to live out their lives. They’d have time when it was over._

_-“Goodbye, Garrus.”-_

_She hated seeing him like this. Battered within an inch of his life, clinging to her as if she might crumble in his hands. He looked desperate, as if this was the first time he had ever considered she might not make it. That this here might be their last moment together. She whispered her soft apologies and tore away from him, down to the beam of blue light. His anguished cries disappeared along with herself._

_-“And if I’m up there in that bar, and you’re not…”-_

_Anderson lay dead beside her, and her own heartbeat seemed to be fading. She couldn’t muster up the strength to move – until Hackett’s voice rang out. Blinded by her own blood, she stumbled forward, coughing and sputtering. She couldn’t see. What was she to do? There was nothing – she had failed. She had failed. Everyone would die, everything they had worked for was for nothing – Garrus. She could not be this pathetic in her last moments. With renowned motivation, her hands found the console._

_-“I’ll be looking down.”-_

_Control, synthesize, or destroy. Her decision, she feared, was not for the best of all. If she were to control the Reapers, she would not die. If she were to synthesize, who knew what would happen to her soul? She didn’t believe in souls and spirits until that moment but she wanted to hold on. Hold on to the hope that had gotten her this far. She whispered her apologies to EDI and the Geth as she closed her eyes and pressed the button._

_-“You’ll never be alone.”-_

Her shoulders shook with uncontrollable sobbing as the memories flooded her senses. Fear, regret, hope, love, strength; everything came at once, overwhelming her senses. Suddenly, she understood. Understood where she was – and why she was there. She clung to him until she had cried her tears and everything became less…overwhelming. He was looking at her, with all the tenderness and care as he had with his final dip at their Citadel dance.

“Shepard.”

“Vakarian.”

“Jane.”

“ _Garrus._ ” A thrum of his subharmonics reached her ears, and she leaned into him. He held her like he might a precious treasure, careful enough to not harm yet tight enough that she would never be wrenched from his grasp. “I’ve been waiting here for so long.”

“I thought about joining you sooner. Didn’t think you’d approve.”

“You were right. Would’ve given you hell.”

“And now here I am.”

“There’s so much I want to say – Garrus it was my fault. The Geth could’ve lived, EDI could’ve-“ She broke off, remembering how soon Joker had followed. Oh, _Joker._ His talons wove through her hair comfortingly, mandibles tangling in the strands when he pressed his version of a human kiss to the top of her head.

“You did what had to be done.”

“I could’ve saved more. I could’ve saved _everyone._ ”

“Then you must’ve had a good reason for it.”

“I was I coward in death, Garrus. I would’ve never seen you again.” He pulled back to look her in the eye.

“Then you made the right decision. You made a thousand promises Shepard, this was your last one to keep.” A grunt of approval reminded Shepard that, surprisingly, they weren’t alone. She closed her eyes, sinking into the feeling that was Garrus Vakarian. A smile played on her lips, a genuine smile despite the raging thoughts and emotions rampaging through her head.

“Hey Garrus?”

“Yes, Jane?”

“You’re buying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand here we are! Day after I posted chapter 1 and we've finished chapter 6. I did say this would be short, after all.
> 
> The inspiration from this obviously came from the line, and my disappointment in finding that a similar work set in 'heaven's bar' only gave a passing nod at the relationship between Garrus and FemShep even though the line originates from their story. It bugged me so I wrote my own version.
> 
> This is completely unedited. Essentially my raw writing without any revisions. I'll go back and revise this later. Already I can think of things I want to change. I want to change Shepard's outlook on the situation, I wand to add more details, I want to make everything seem a bit more ethereal. Maybe I want to make it a bit less obvious what's happening (even if the title does give it away a bit.) All in all, this work is subject to change. A lot of it. But as of right now, I like it. And I hope you did too.


End file.
